So I’ve made it to America…

So for the next four months America is going to be my home. I’ve left my family and friends to work over here, part of me believes that it has come at the right time. A chance to get away from the drama and pain of my past. A chance to find myself again and who I want to be. On the other hand I can’t help but think what if I’ve made a terrible mistake, what if I hate it here. I haven’t started work yet and what if I just can’t do this. I’m stuck here for 112 days and that is a long time with no support system.

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Liebster Award

So I wasn’t sure what this was, as I have never blogged for anything other than my own catharsis and can’t believe people actually are interested in what I have to say. But I have a beautiful follower who has nominated me for the Liebster Award… weird weekends. If you get a chance you should read his blog, no word of a lie it is awesome!!


So here are the rules….

So the answers to the eleven questions…..

What is your most prized possession?

My most prized possession is a photo of me when I was three with my granddad at the car museum in Keswick. It was taken in front of noddy’s car and I remember being told we couldn’t use our cameras there. He passed away two years later and it is the only photo I have of the two of us.

What is the weirdest thing about you (… sorry weird weekends… have to stay true to myself)?

I suppose that I’m double jointed, I can get both of my legs behind my head.
What advice would you give yourself if you could tavel back in time? And what moment in time would that be?

If I could travel back in time, I would let myself to follow my gut instinct about people. when I get the feeling that something isn’t right trust it because it is telling you that for a reason. Believe in yourself even when other people tell you that your wrong, as they may not be looking out for your best interests. I would go back to the moment I was asked by the ex partner if I wanted to move in with him.
What part of yourself would you change and why?

I would change my hair, I know that sounds crazy but I suffer from a form of alopecia. Not that you would know to look at me but as there is no cure, I have to manage it everyday with a strict diet and vitamin tablets to promote hair growth and maintain optimum levels. Styling my hair on a regular basis is a massive no no. It has definitely knocked my confidence, as when you open up to people about it you often feel judged or get the brush away comment of well just get a wig.
If you could travel anywhere in the world… where? and why?

It would have to be to Finland to see the Northern Lights, its top of my bucket list and think they look absolutely beautiful.
Which one (choose only one) and why… a kiss… a gift… or a kind word?

I would have to choose a gift, as it can be something very small and inexpensive but people can carry it with them for the rest of their lives. My great aunt suffered from dementia and had a memory box which amongst photos and her wedding ring had small birthday gifts and things she had been given, that even when she couldn’t remember why she knew why were important to her.
Who do you admire most? Why?

I admire my Nana the most out of everyone in my life, she is the most independent woman I have ever known, maybe slightly stubborn too… its a family trait. She has never asked for a handout in her life, she doesn’t suffer fools and never wants to be a burden on anyone.
If Hollywood made a film about you…what would the title be?

Dancing in the storm, because thats how I live my life.
Favorite Song? Book? or Movie? and why?

My favourite song is Heartbeats by Jose Gonzalez because the first time I heard it the words resonated with my life and what I was going through at the time.
What is one of the moments in your past that made you special?

I don’t think I’ve ever had one specific moment which has made me special, I’m just me.
Why do you blog?

I blog because I find it cathartic to put down what I go through into words, it helps me to understand some of the situations I find myself in and in many cases move on from them.

Eleven facts about myself

  1. I was once pregnant and had a termination
  2. I have a degree in psychology
  3. I have only ever felt something close to love once in my life though I have said it to more than one man
  4. I spend a summer working in France
  5. I can’t say squirrel
  6. I have a phobia of knives being pointed at me, I once locked myself in the bathroom because he turned round in the kitchen to say hello to me and had one in his hand
  7. My favourite colour is red
  8. I once had an affair with a married man… he lied and told me he was single and had never been married/engaged before
  9. I’m a dog person
  10. I love experiencing new things
  11. I believe life is a journey, and sometimes you have to ride the storm because better things could be just around the corner


My nominees are… (most people I follow have over 200 followers so epic fail on my part)

accidentally single







My Questions

  1. What is your favourite childhood memory?
  2. What makes you happy?
  3. Who has had the biggest influence in your life?
  4. What do you hope to achieve from life?
  5. What phrase best describes you?
  6. Where would you most like to visit?
  7. If you had a magic lamp, what would your three wishes be?
  8. If you could change one thing you did in your past what would it be?
  9. What are you most proud of?
  10. What skill would you like to have?
  11. What is your dream job?






Dating officially sucks

Its official everyone dating these days royally sucks. The amount of apps kicking about means everyone always thinks they can do better, or find someone who’ll do for the night. Its shit, you are constantly judged on the way you look, every decision you have made in your life is under the microscope. Where you live, what you do, how you spend your spend time and what you want from the future.

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The beauties of a spa day….

So its my best friends birthday and i though what better gift than a spa day. There wasn’t anything that she wanted present wise, so I decided that it was better to do something for the day together. Have a bit of bonding time. We are both unbelievably similar… we both live payday to payday… we both have a diabolical track record with men… and we both love experiencing new things.  Continue reading

So I went on a first date….

Given everything I’ve been through recently you would think that going on a date would be the last thing on my mind but in all honesty it was a much needed distraction. I met him on-line…. please don’t judge. He was older than me, Irish and works in the forces. It’s hard to put into words the nerves I felt…. I just wish it had gone as well as I had hoped. God this dating thing is hard haha Continue reading